Giving Up

Since the age of about 14, people have always warned my parents about the dangers of me losing interest in riding and ‘moving onto boys’. Without any hesitation, I would say how ridiculous this concept was and that unlike boys; ponies always listened and didn’t scratch their crotch in public. I have always been proud of the fact that I’ve never considered cutting down or giving up until the other day, where I found myself genuinely wondering what it would be like to just...not ride?

Throughout my life, I’ve always had my Mum’s words ‘If we are going to do it, we’re going to do it properly’ drilled into my head and I have always agreed with them. These words are the reason that after only 2 years playing polocrosse on my little New Forest, I was bought an A grade pony and thrown into a full UKPA season. Obviously I loved it and carried on competing every weekend at either a polocrosse tournament or a show jumping competition despite the fact I knew everyone thought I was over horsed and totally clueless. However this summer, after becoming too old for both polocrosse and show jumping junior classes, I made the switch to eventing and the transition to senior grades. I don’t think I ever considered how hard this would especially when my polocrosse has now decided that the only time he won’t try and buck me off is when he’s actually playing a match, in some ways a relief but in most ways, an enormous pain. I won’t lie and say that when I didn’t get into the Scottish team, I wasn’t gutted. Not being included in this amazing opportunity is disappointing, even though I am extremely excited to play with a different team and take photos of the Quad Nations but I know this did play a part in the consideration of packing it in. Alongside this, similar to Aske Horse Trails, Area Eventing didn’t go according to plan due to me riding like a potato and Casper enjoying himself a little too much on cross country.

In the cases I have seen, teenagers begin to lose interest when things start to go downhill, when Mum and Dad sell their top pony and replace it with a temperamental horse for them to ‘learn on’. None of this has happened to me, I still have my two amazing ponies and a team of support behind me so I have exactly 0 reason to think about trading it all in.

“The day you stop enjoying it is the day we stop doing it”. There are many times I have not enjoyed myself and last week was just an accumulation of  unsuccessful events which had started to pray on my mind more than usual, but in hindsight, there’s no way I could ever give up the one thing I actually want to do and the one thing I’m actually quite good at.  

P.S. I survived my 8 days in Scotland at T in the Park and Scottish Polocrosse Camp last week....and now I am honestly scarred by human nature and tents.