Understanding dedication

I was browsing nonchalantly through Twitter the other day when I came across the most recent trending hashtag in the equestrian world- ‘Growing up Equestrian’. I spent a solid 30 minutes reading through some of them, laughing as I went. I discovered very rapidly that I related to all of them, examples including ‘#GrowingUpEquestrian never being invited to things because your friends assume you’re busy riding’ (which still happens now) ‘#GrowingUpEquestrian having to explain to people that the reason you don’t have nice clothes is because you spent your money on a new bridle’ (again...still happens now!) and ‘#GrowingUpEquestrian where there is no such thing as a social life’.

Especially when I was younger, I never understood why it was hard for my non horsey friends to comprehend the situation- so what if I didn’t want to go to your swimming party? I was too busy riding my pony to care. I thought this would end once I got older but in fact, it got worse and sometimes nastier. When I was 15, I overheard a group of girls making comments about how “my only friends are horses which don’t even have personalities” and that I “had no life, only a boring hobby”. Obviously I was hurt but at the same time, it made me kind of happy that they couldn’t and would never understand. In my head, I told them that mindlessly drinking and bitching didn’t count as an exciting hobby and that Casper had more character in his hoof than any of them before strutting away with sass and dignity. In reality, I slunk away and avoided them for the rest of time around them.   

On many occasions, I have been asked by teachers to ‘give up horse riding for a while’ so I could concentrate on my studies before getting a bollocking for snorting at their absurd suggestion. I realized that for your everyday man on the street or teacher in the classroom, horses were like golf clubs; you could just drop them in the cupboard whenever you got bored. Understanding the dedication and commitment needed for any successful sporting career is difficult but now and again, I wish people would work harder at accepting that this ‘boring hobby’ comes first and that’s that.

Giving Up

Since the age of about 14, people have always warned my parents about the dangers of me losing interest in riding and ‘moving onto boys’. Without any hesitation, I would say how ridiculous this concept was and that unlike boys; ponies always listened and didn’t scratch their crotch in public. I have always been proud of the fact that I’ve never considered cutting down or giving up until the other day, where I found myself genuinely wondering what it would be like to just...not ride?

Throughout my life, I’ve always had my Mum’s words ‘If we are going to do it, we’re going to do it properly’ drilled into my head and I have always agreed with them. These words are the reason that after only 2 years playing polocrosse on my little New Forest, I was bought an A grade pony and thrown into a full UKPA season. Obviously I loved it and carried on competing every weekend at either a polocrosse tournament or a show jumping competition despite the fact I knew everyone thought I was over horsed and totally clueless. However this summer, after becoming too old for both polocrosse and show jumping junior classes, I made the switch to eventing and the transition to senior grades. I don’t think I ever considered how hard this would especially when my polocrosse has now decided that the only time he won’t try and buck me off is when he’s actually playing a match, in some ways a relief but in most ways, an enormous pain. I won’t lie and say that when I didn’t get into the Scottish team, I wasn’t gutted. Not being included in this amazing opportunity is disappointing, even though I am extremely excited to play with a different team and take photos of the Quad Nations but I know this did play a part in the consideration of packing it in. Alongside this, similar to Aske Horse Trails, Area Eventing didn’t go according to plan due to me riding like a potato and Casper enjoying himself a little too much on cross country.

In the cases I have seen, teenagers begin to lose interest when things start to go downhill, when Mum and Dad sell their top pony and replace it with a temperamental horse for them to ‘learn on’. None of this has happened to me, I still have my two amazing ponies and a team of support behind me so I have exactly 0 reason to think about trading it all in.

“The day you stop enjoying it is the day we stop doing it”. There are many times I have not enjoyed myself and last week was just an accumulation of  unsuccessful events which had started to pray on my mind more than usual, but in hindsight, there’s no way I could ever give up the one thing I actually want to do and the one thing I’m actually quite good at.  

P.S. I survived my 8 days in Scotland at T in the Park and Scottish Polocrosse Camp last week....and now I am honestly scarred by human nature and tents.

Competitive parents: blessing or curse?

It is without doubt that everyone has come across this particular stereotype whether it was at a football match, spelling competition or merely middle school sports day. Without fail, their little darling is kitted up to the eyeballs with state of the art trainers, all new sports kit (just for the occasion) and 3 gallons of water to keep them hydrated as they limber up for that all important 100m sprint with their fellow year 8 friends. This doesn’t change as you get older alas; after attending numerous County, City and NSAA athletics competitions I grew accustom to watching the pretty girl with the long legs and pushy dad produce her very own starting blocks from her pink bag. She would of course win; receive a pat on the back and a picture with her beaming dad before collecting her certificate and being told the next rounds took place at least 5 hours away. Equally, the one who came second would get a cold stare and a ‘well that was a waste of time’ from the mother who looks so far from athletic, you begin to wonder where that child came from. 

But it goes without saying, none of these mums or dads can match up with horsey parents. There is something about equestrianism competition which brings out the worst in competitive people whether it is subtle or not so subtle. After competing in Junior BSJA for nearly 4 years, my mum and I have seen our fair share of collecting ring wars between mums, dads, grandparents, children, siblings and (worst of all) between parents of two different competitors. If something doesn’t go quite right and your 11 year old riding their string of 12.2 ponies doesn’t collect that prize money meaning you’ve just wasted £70 in entry fees, 5 hours of driving and 3 hours of waiting for your class, someone is going to get a bollocking.

I can’t pin all this stereotypical behaviour on show jumping parents alone however as it happens in all disciplines. Team selection is probably the worst thing anyone with a speck of ambition or competitiveness will ever experience, parent or child. From International, National, Inter club or Pony Club, this situation reeks of rejection and disappointment. It is gutting for everyone involved, all those years of pushing and dedication has gone to waste whilst all anyone can say is ‘there is always next year’.

Of course, not all competitive parents follow these examples with many being able to channel their will to win into simply motivating their child to do the same. Without parents like these, many children would never grow up to be successful in equestrianism or anything else for that matter but sometimes it is important to know when enough is enough.

Hours of driving, training and heartache goes into sport and this only doubles if you are an equestrian, but at the end of day you always know you have your number one fan behind you whether you win, lose or just thoroughly let yourself down.

Dedicated to the number one show jumping/eventing/polocrosse/pony club mum, thanks for being awesome Joz x

Equestrianism: three types of people

Everyone at some point in their school lives has had a weird kid in their class who was obsessed with horses. They cantered around the play ground, wrote copious and seemingly endless stories about ponies (magical or otherwise) and if you were lucky enough to be invited back to their house for tea, you would soon find out their room was an equine emporium, undoubtedly with a precious collection of model horses on show which you were allowed to look at but not touch. I would love to say this is a totally incorrect stereotype but I would be lying. Having a multitude of equestrian and non equestrian friends, I found I was not an anomaly and almost all of them had either been one or knew one in their primary school days. After that phase, it was a simple progression. My mum bought me my first ‘proper’ competition pony at 6 years old because she wanted me to ‘be more competitive and keen’ about ponies and not just collect plastic ones....the moral of that story is to be careful what you wish for.

However, ever since I was little, people have always held or shared judgements, comments and connotations about my choice of sport or personal career. Over the years, I have learnt that people fall into three main categories when it comes to views on horse riding.

The first is the fellow horsey person. Whether it’s a coach, rival, parent or complete stranger on the internet, they always believe they know everything there is to know about riding and horses, particularly your horse. As someone who has had a number of badly behaved ponies over the years, I can personally relate to the frustration felt when some moth eaten Pony Club teacher from the 70s tells me my pony is ‘out of control’ and ‘needs proper handling’, insulting both my mum and myself in one swift motion. The perfect situation for a person like this is the ‘New Pony Complex’. They are quick to highlight every possible flaw with your new pride and joy, classics including ‘he’s a bit cobby’, ‘he won’t go far’ and my all time favourite ‘he is far too good for you’. On the other hand, these people are easy to spot and avoid with most fellow horsey people merely sharing your love and passion for the sport, scouting them out every time you enter a new group of people and happily spending hours rambling on about all things equine, much to the irritation of everyone else.

The second type is the impassive. These are sometimes the most frustrating people as more often than not they have the timeless words on their lips: ‘What’s so great about horse riding anyway, all you do is sit there right?’ Although this often isn't meant in a malicious way, it has almost the same effect as a horsey person saying ‘he would go much better for you if...’ Trying to explain things to them is irritating and pains taking but if they are willing to accept that you are passionate about this and that horses come first in relation to your lifestyle, then you’re better off just leaving them in the unknown.

The final type of person is the ignorant. Different to the impassive in the fact that they verbally express their dislike for the sport whether it’s because they believe that in some way it isn't ethically correct, or that it isn't a ‘real sport’. There isn't a great deal you can say to these people especially if they are the type who refuse to acknowledge your point of view; everyone’s views are valid but forcing people to share yours when you have little knowledge to back up your claims has no validity whatsoever. The best thing to do is smile, retreat and ‘go cuddle your pony’ as they so often suggest.

“No hour of your life is wasted in the saddle”, although many wouldn't agree with or understand  Winston Churchill, I am certainly glad to be in the minority of those who do.